You know what is kind of funny. I am doing this Hippie School class for a couple of weeks -- we sit around and talk about revolution and language, etc. -- and after the morning session there is a communal lunch that we all signed up to make at some point during the session. The other day I got all excited about what I was going to make, and then wouldn't you know it, Susan up and left the very second class was over, no lunch no nothing. Which is not especially remarkable -- people have things to do, I know -- except I rather have a crush on Susan and maybe my best way of showing people that I care about them is to make food for them. So, it was still a good lunch -- spanakopita! buttermilk cakes! everyone said they liked it -- but I was a little bummed, because I had been thinking all about how the lunch would go, like you do when you have a crush on one person in order to focus your confusing and multiple attentions in a new social situation.

So just now I was sitting around at M's house talking with a few people, and M. asked how the class session was going and I said it was pretty good but you know who never eats with us? And she and another person were both like, "Susan!" Apparently it is a thing, like mostly she doesn't eat around people. Which I can understand! I like eating with people, but if I am the only one with food (like I am late to lunch and everyone has finished, not like I am an asshole and brought myself a sandwich and nobody else gets one) I mostly cannot eat. Maybe it is like that, maybe not. I actually wanted to ask Susan about this but then I had some thoughts about how people sometimes have/have had disordered eating and it's not always okay to question their habits around food. So I didn't!

But then in light of what M. had said I remembered how one time I was at Susan's house and she shared an omelette with me. Which made me feel slightly special! Small wonders. Maybe she caught on to the fact that I don't usually look at people when I am talking to them. I certainly don't like to be looked at while eating. Huh.

That's all I guess.

FRIGHTENING TRUE TALES OF THE MIDWEST