Jesus christ, I don't want to do all these jobs. I would love to just peace out of here right now. So now the boss says will I call the new hire and tell him he got the job and do all that business, which I guess is not so unreasonable, andy after all called me to offer me this job, but I don't want to, it's like one tiny part of the job that I wish they would not add to the heap. I don't want to think about logistics, I am just tired, somebody else do it.

I am prone to these fits of hysterical anger related to job stress. I would almost rather work every day myself than have to train new people and change circumstances.

Also I don't know exactly what it is, maybe my bourgie upbringing saddled me with the assumption that I would find something other than retail work to do after college, isn't that why I always told the therapist I didn't want to kill myself when they asked, because I was vaguely and optimistically interested in college and things after that? And I know intellectually that 1) this is a phase of work and the sheets will smooth out once you ruffle them; and 2) even if this isn't a phase, if this is all I will ever do (my god i hope not), the bourgie upbringing was lying to me, not everyone is destined for greatness, don't be so presumptuous that your brand is anything special.

Ugh I am just tired of standing here.